Millennial woman loses $140,000 on a dating site. Now, she's helping others avoid the same mistake

As people are using dating apps to find love and companionship in a connected age, such platforms have become hunting grounds for scammers. Recently pig butchering scams among other schemes have preyed on the emotional vulnerabilities of lonely people. One of the first documentaries to expose conmen on dating apps was "The Tinder Swindler" on Netflix, which followed the lives of victims defrauded by a man named  Simon Leviev. Ayleen Charlotte, one of the victims who helped take down the fraudster, is now using her popularity and experience to help others steer clear of Romance Scams. 

Tackling "The Tinder Swindler"

According to the Federal Trade Commission, American consumers lost a whopping $1.14 billion to romance scams in 2023. The median losses per person amounted to a significant $2,000, marking the highest reported losses caused by any form of imposter scam. Trapped by "The Tinder Swindler," Charlotte was scammed out of $140,000 after falling for Shimon Hayut a.k.a Simon Leviev. She was just one of the victims of Hayut who siphoned off millions of dollars from women whom he met through the popular dating app, Tinder. 

Charlotte from the Netherlands, learned about her boyfriend's real identity after reading a newspaper article that featured his name and information shared by other victims, Cecilie Fjellhøy and Pernilla Sjoholm. She then teamed up with the victims and played along with Hayut, to help orchestrate his arrest by Interpol.

Today, when romance scams are at an all-time high, Charlotte has urged people to look for the warning signs that she missed, during a conversation with Newsweek. "Fraudsters work very hard to gain your trust until you're emotionally dependent on them, creating opportunities to build pressure and fear," Charlotte told Newsweek. She explained that the criminals eventually invent a crisis and ask for help and support from their victims. "This repeats itself over and over until you are completely empty in your heart and your wallet," Charlotte said. In the end, when victims have nothing more to give, the fraudster disappears, she added.

Biggest Red Flags

Charlotte shared that the biggest red flag is when a person asks their dating app partner to loan them money by creating a sense of urgency. When they "don't want you to take the time to think rationally or understand the situation," Charlotte explained.

Previously in a Q&A session led by Deloitte Forensic Partner, Stacey Toder Feldman, Charlotte warned that if a potential match tried to take someone off the dating app and continue communication elsewhere, against their wish, but it's a big red flag. She further warned that if a match is “love bombing you too much, try to step back.” She suggested waiting for a little while to respond to their messages as it helps one understand the person's intentions in the long run.

When asked about advice for the victims of romance scams, fraud, or any other abuse, Charlotte emphasized the importance of a support system in the form of family and friends. “Maybe if you already shared your story with a loved one or someone you trust, then maybe it will be easier to also go to the police, and maybe they are also willing to go with you to the police," she said as per Fraud Conference News. She explained that this is a big mountain to step over and once the victims do so, it only gets better in dealing with the case and in healing as well.